Question: Why does my house smell like it got burned down?
Answer: Because my brother tried to cook Easy Mac.
Response: At this household, Easy Mac is known as Not-So-Easy Mac.
Now let me explain the above. Last night I arrived home at about 7:00. I opened the door to enter the house. Immediately an overwhelmingly strong nasty smokey smell consumed me, and I started hacking and coughing and running away from the scene of the crime…
Aaron Smith Page. You are hereby convicted of attempting to cook Easy Mac without the water, following in the footsteps of your sister (side note: This exact same thing happened about three years ago. But this time my sister was the guilty one. That’s the reason why I busted up laughing when I found out what Ronnie had done.) This crime that you have committed is extremely naughty, and for this reason you will be restricted from ever making so-called ‘Easy’ Mac ever again. At least while your sister Kelsey resides in the same household that you do.
If you don’t understand this predicament, then take some time and re-read the last few paragraphs. Or just read ahead. Yes. It is true. My brother forgot to put the water in the Easy Mac. Then, he set the microwave to cook, and went into the backyard for a minute. He was completely unaware that the macaroni was in fact turning into a solid black mass and leeching absolutely disgusting smells into our house. And the worst thing was, he didn’t even know what he had done!! I got home, asked him what happened, and he said, “I just tried to make Easy Mac!” That is when i realized what had happened, and started laughing my head off. Of course, I wasn’t in the house at this time. Otherwise I would have most likely died from bad smells.
Just for clarification purposes, this is the worst smelling smoke ever. If you are curious to see what it smells like, DON’T TRY IT OUT!! Your house will smell like a gas chamber for weeks! And your microwave will smell like that for months and months! It is torture, I tell you! This is the second time I have gone through this pain. I never ever ever want to have to endure it again. This smell is 10x worse than cigarette smoke. (And I HATE cigarette smoke, so that is definitely saying something.) You have been warned!
Now, if this story is scaring you away from coming to visit me, don’t be afraid. We made use of all the fans in the house and all the open doors and windows we could muster, so the smell is very vague now. Thankfully. It was horrible. (But since my room is in the back corner of the basement and nowhere near the microwave, I was saved from having to bask in bad smell all night long! Hooray!)
Here we have another story. I call it: My adventure of today, June 16.
Today, my father invited me to go to our storage unit to pick up some stuff with him, and since I didn’t want to be the only one in the house, I complied. This excursion required that we take the Mazda 3, which is a stick shift. Then, after we picked up the painting supplies from the storage unit, I decided I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. Little did I know that this would turn out to be one of the most difficult things ever.
Holy gamole. Driving a stick shift is a lot harder than you think! It requires so much coordination! Try to think about this all at once: holding down the clutch, easing off the brake, easing on the gas while veeeeery slowly letting off the clutch, then putting on the clutch AND the brake to stop, then repeat. And all that happens under 5 miles an hour. Because I only was brave enough to try shifting once. At the very end. So, the moral of the story is: If you’re going to learn how to drive a stick shift, prepare yourself for lots of stress, lots on the mind, lots of stalling the car (a couple hundred times at least), lots of revving the engine, lots of squealing tires…you get the picture. But it will all be worth it because one day I will be able to drive that lovely Mazda 3!
ANNOUNCEMENT! ANNOUNCEMENT! TODAY IS A VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT DAY!
I cannot tell you why today is so important. Only one person in the entire universe understands why today is important. And I somehow doubt that he reads my blog. I will ask him. But it is still of the utmost importance that I honor this very significant day in some manner! I’m sorry that you can’t know why today is important. And I’m sorry that you never will know why today is important. It’s all part of life.
Oh, I have some other news too. A goal has been set for me to accomplish. However this goal was not set by me. My good friend Keith took it upon himself to set the goal of getting me “cultured.” Now generally when you think of the word cultured, you might think of things such as art museums, ancient writings, etc. This is different. When I say cultured here, I am referring to…pop culture and such. Yes, it is rather pathetic. But it is so true. So far, since Saturday at about 7 pm, I have seen 3 movies that I had never seen before (the dark knight, signs, planet of the apes), watched a scary movie by myself in the basement in the dark in the middle of the night (literally the middle of the night. I started watching at about 1:00 am), listened to 97.9 (haha, gets me very cultured indeed), and I think that’s about it so far. Yeah, short list, I know. I’m still working on it. But I must give credit to Keith for all of these. All the pressure! Geez!
Hasta la vista! Me encantan los chicharrones. (Estoy solamente bromeando! Yo vi a los chicharrones cuando estaba en Page, Arizona (el mejor ciudad en todo el mundo) y inmediatamente yo pense de Senorita Fuentes! Fue horible! Tambien, los chicharrones son muy malos.)
PS. One last story. On Saturday, I was held horizontally over a pond! On the wrong side of the railing! As in, the pond side! Not the safe side! It was psycho! I thought I was going to die! Not really, but if I had been dropped in the water, I would have been pretty mad. Thankfully I was still safe and dry by the time the ordeal was over.